MetaFic

31 Oct 1991

So hungry.  Hungry!  Evil little man, where food?  Said food!  Hungry!  Food now!  

Doors not open!  Hungry!  Smash!  Smash doors!  Doors not smash!  Hungry!  Will not wait!

Water not enough!  Food!  Meat!  Hungry!

Smash door!  Smash door!  Hungry now!

So tired.  Door not break.  Nothing to smash.    Food?   Light?  Outside?

Smash again.  Smash! Door still there.  Smash!  Must try again.

Door gone!  Get food now!  Hungry!

“Padma?”

The pretty Indian girl looked away from her twin to meet Harry’s eyes.  “Yes?”

“Would you and Parvati mind budging over a couple of seats?  Michael and Hermione are heading over.”  Harry gave her his best friendly smile while nodding towards the two Ravenclaws, who were quickly approaching.  

Padma smiled back, her eyes joining in, before she nudged her sister and motioned her down.  The girls took their filled goblets with them and passed back the clean empties from the end of the table.   Harry called out a “Thanks!” as they engaged in the shuffle.  

As soon as the girls were settled, Harry dropped his voice to a loud stage whisper and finished with, “An extra big and personal thank you from Seamus!”

“Hey!” Seamus cuffed him on the back of his shoulder.  “What’re you doing?”

“Well,” Michael offered as he sat down next to Harry. Hermione sat down next to Padma, filling the two slots. “I thought it was obvious.  He’s securing your future girlfriend’s awareness of you.”

“Yeah,” Harry offered, trying to look outraged. “What’s the big idea?  I’m looking out for you, that’s all.”

“Sure, Harry,” Seamus offered flatly.  “Just like I’ll write a special postscript from you to Cat in the next letter home.”

“What?” Harry hated that his voice climbed several octaves.  “You wouldn’t!”

Seamus held Harry’s gaze for a long moment before he shrugged.  “No, but only because it wouldn’t be right to tease her, no matter how much it might make her chase you.”

“All right, all right,” Harry grumbled, “message received.  I’ll lay off the suggestions to Padma.”

“So what do you think?” Neville asked from across the table, and Harry caught the other boy’s rolling eyes.  All the other first-year boys were openly smirking.  “And not about the dynamic duo over there.”  He waved towards the decorated Hall.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?  Those pumpkins and lanterns and candles?” Hermione answered.  Michael shrugged a bit, but she continued on regardless.  “I was debating with Michael about how they keep the bats in here safely and cleanly.”

“Cleanly?” Ron challenged.  “What’s so clean about a bunch of bats?”

“Didn’t you notice the bats dropping guano in the drinks?  How did they charm it to not make you sick?” Michael asked while pouring a glass of pumpkin juice.   

Harry laughed at the disgusted expressions of everyone within earshot, knowing they were being set up.  When Ron looked like he might become ill, Michael finished explaining.  

“Right, they charmed them not to do that in here.  That’s what she meant by keeping bats in here cleanly.  Otherwise your food would be full of, well, shit.”

Ron was still staring, horrified, at the bats flying about the ceiling.

“Really, Ron,” Hermione huffed after a moment, “no animals make a mess in here.  This shouldn’t be new to you.  You’ve got a family owl.”

“Yeah, but –”  Ron’s words cut off just as most other conversations did.  

Professor Quirrell ran full-tilt into the Great Hall.  Then he spotted Dumbledore and made a mad dash for the man’s chair.  “Troll!”  he wailed. “Troll in the dungeons!”  As soon as he reached Dumbledore’s chair, he stopped and said, “Thought you should know.”  After which, from what Harry could tell, he fainted.

“How can someone that useless teach Defence?” Harry asked of no one in particular.

“But it’s a troll,” Ron said, the redhead’s eyes going wide.  “In the castle!”

“Yeah, and  a greasy vampire that used to teach Potions, so what?”  Seamus asked.

Several small explosions came from the Head Table, and everyone stopped chattering to face Dumbledore.  “Students!” Dumbledore said, rising to his feet. “You will need to return to your common rooms immediately!  Prefects, I ask –”

Dumbledore stopped as McGonagall stood and whispered in his ear for a moment.  

“Ah! An excellent idea.  Since we are all here, all students will remain in the Great Hall until further notice!”  Dumbledore scanned the faculty in the room before continuing. “I shall remain here with Professor Flitwick as well as Madam Pomfrey.  The rest of you, please seek out the troll and summon me if you need aid.  Oh, Professor Tofty, please revive Quirrell and take him with you.”  

As the faculty rose to leave, food appeared across all the tables in the Great Hall.  “Please, everyone, eat and do not worry.  We will deal with this minor problem.”  As soon as the last staff member had left the Hall, Dumbledore waved his wand in several grand arcs, causing the doors to shut with a squelching sound.  Harry was truly impressed when the doors blurred slightly before turning into the same stonework as the surrounding walls.

“It’d take a bit to get through those, wouldn’t it?”  Seamus muttered.

“I think that’s what he had in mind,” Neville agreed quietly.

The strained silence lasted only a few moments before Ron scooped a baked potato onto his plate.  When he realised that everyone was staring at him, he flushed a dark red.  “What? I’m hungry, and he told us to eat!”

Dark places.   Small places.   No food!  Man lies!  

Want food!  Want outside!  

So many doors!  No food.  Cold.  Dark.  Smelly room, funny objects.  Hard bowl hat.  Not food!

Hungry!  Angry!  Smash!  Smash funny hats!  Where is food?!

Doors, many doors.  No food.  No drink.  

Feet coming.  Little feet.  Man thing lies!  Smash man!

Bright light.  Funny light.  Smash!  Hungry!  Angry!

Light itches.  Smells bad.  Bad food here.  Want food!  Want drink!  No lies!  Smash!  Smash!

Owww.  Lights hurt.

Smash!  Smash!  Smash little light sticks!

Want food!  Want drink!  Want outsi–