OOC fanfics [...] because the substance of the world has been changed so seriously it is no longer something I recognise or relate too.
Dumbledore either sacked or under the suspicion of all the principle characters including the staff within two chapters.
Snape becomes [a gold-club member of Mr Roger's Neighborhood]
time travel stories where Harry knows everything, does it all right in the first semester of first year (including getting that pesky horcrux out of the ROR)
'Flying off the handle at every turn' Molly
For the record, based solely on the reviews of the stories I've written, I feel 100% confident in saying I have nailed all of these except Goody-Goody Snape and Nutcase-Molly. Though since I encourage Dave to push Molly a bit, maybe I can take a teensy bit of credit on that one.
This is a really useful list. It's shown me I have two more themes to write, minimum. Now if I can just think up a plot . . . maybe I can do a soul-bond spoof at the same time, and nail both of these in one fic? Molly freaks out, Snape becomes a concerned parent, H/G are re-sorted into Snake Central, and Draco is secretly Snape's son off Narcissa . . . hmm. This has Potential.
Overabundance of cliches - It's almost inevitable that an author will use some of the common fandom cliches and that's fine since I can handle just about any of them if they're done well. Taking Control comes to mind here as it has a couple and does them very well. But my ability to maintain the disbelief necessary to read fanfiction can only handle about 3-4 of the more common cliche's (long-lost family member, Harry quickly becoming a powerful dueler, animagus Harry, second generation of Marauders, rich Harry, Gryffindor/Merlin/Founder's heir, wandless magic, phoenix animagus, or Harry inventing a new magic/shield/whatever that's pivotal). I read a story yesterday that actually had every single one of those with the author constantly including the excuse that he had the idea before it became so common, so he didn't want to change his story outline.
Involving the Muggle world - occasionally, you'll find a story that includes the Muggle world and does it magnificently. Most of the time, it's crap.
This last one isn't so much a bad sign as a pet peeve that doesn't relate to the story's quality: I hate it when characters think out-loud often. Its a hold-over from movies, where we can't hear the characters thoughts. If you're writing a story and not filming a movie, there's no reason you can't get inside the characters' heads. People I know will mutter something to themselves every now and then (including me), but most people do not constantly think out loud whenever they're alone. However, it won't ruin the story for me; I'll just be annoyed half the time.
Edit: For those of you that are annoyed by spelling errors, I'd suggest copy-pasting the story into Word or another program (I use Jarte, a free wordpad based program). Run a spell check and add the names that are spelled correctly to your spellcheck library (Jarte lets me do this, I assume you can do it in Word). After about five-six stories, you'll have enough of a library to cover the common names and words specific to HP. I spend about ten minutes before I start reading a story to copy & paste it in, then spellcheck, and it saves me alot of annoyance as I read. If I like the story, I put the file in a folder to keep. If I don't, I delete it.
Beyond that, you can use the replace all function whenever you find something that spellcheck doesn't pick up. Such as the characters like to say "Ye gods" or something when shocked, and it bugs you because your HP-inclined brain would expect them to say "Merlin." See it once, use the replace all function to input what you'd prefer, and it does it through the whole story - permanently removing the eyesore from view. I also use spellcheck to find spell names (as they are normally Latin, English spellcheckers view them as wrong), italicize them (cause I just like how it looks), and then hit the ignore function so that if there's another of that same word, it'll pick it up and I can repeat. And last but not least, I change the background color (black) and text color (bright green) so that I don't have to read black-on-white all the time as it hurts my eyes. That, and I can make the text bigger to read more comfortably no matter where I find the story.
This is a really useful list. It's shown me I have two more themes to write, minimum. Now if I can just think up a plot . . . maybe I can do a soul-bond spoof at the same time, and nail both of these in one fic? Molly freaks out, Snape becomes a concerned parent, H/G are re-sorted into Snake Central, and Draco is secretly Snape's son off Narcissa . . . hmm. This has Potential.
Now this, I would really love to see.
Maybe written in a similar fashion as your hilarious Anti cliché. But then the questions remains, could you possibly outdo the previously attained level of satire and parody? And maybe, since you already intensely covered the topic of bonding you would have to think of another pretext.
Involving the Muggle world - occasionally, you'll find a story that includes the Muggle world and does it magnificently. Most of the time, it's crap.
I'm glad someone else pointed this one out! It drives me crazy when HP fanfic authors have the characters know so much about the Muggle world, listen to known Muggle songs, etc, etc. To me it is a sign that the author lacks creativity or they cannot really immerse themselves in the wizarding world.
While slightly off topic, it bothers me that a story was recently validated on SIYE that was one of the worst I've seen in a while as far as spelling and grammar errors. The staff usually blocks submissions this bad. If you've read it, you know which one I mean. The story itself was okay if a little OOC but almost every review remarked on the need for correcting the errors.
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read" Groucho Marks
While slightly off topic, it bothers me that a story was recently validated on SIYE that was one of the worst I've seen in a while as far as spelling and grammar errors. The staff usually blocks submissions this bad. If you've read it, you know which one I mean. The story itself was okay if a little OOC but almost every review remarked on the need for correcting the errors.
If you PM me the name of the story, I'll ask the archivists to re-examine the story. I haven't done a lot of reading lately, so I don't know which one you're talking about. Chances are that it just slipped through.
I'm glad someone else pointed this one out! It drives me crazy when HP fanfic authors have the characters know so much about the Muggle world, listen to known Muggle songs, etc, etc. To me it is a sign that the author lacks creativity or they cannot really immerse themselves in the wizarding world.
I think it's reasonable in some cases, though. Hermione would surely be basically familiar with Muggle music and other forms of entertainment. She wouldn't know about the latest hits, but over the summers she would probably at least hear about anything really significant. So, for example, since Meat Loaf's "Anything for Love" spent 7 weeks as the top single in 1993, starting in October, she would surely have heard it by August of 1994 at the latest. And if you're talking about Harry's musical tastes, then you almost have to use Muggle bands, because he clearly hadn't heard much wizarding music at all prior to December 1994. So he probably knows about the New Kids on the Block, Madonna, Elton John, and other artists that were very popular prior to September 1, 1991. After that, his exposure would probably be pretty spotty.
On the other hand, if you're talking about the Weasleys, the Malfoys, the Longbottoms, or any other known all-wizarding family, then they should be 99.5% clueless about Muggle music.
Obvious anachronisms irritate me. Knowing the when of something is a bit important if you're going to write a story. I won't have a fit if an author has a character using a crossbow a hundred years before they were invented. Those types of obscure facts that would only even be noticed by a historian don't bother me. The obvious things that most everyone should know do bother me. I have encountered at least three separate stories where Harry and company watch Peter Jackson's Lord Of the Rings trilogy. The first one hit theaters in the U.S. in November of 2001. Granted, I had to look that up on IMDB to get the right year, but I knew that it wasn't available in the early nineties. Of course, this particular example goes back to the whole 'knowledge of the Muggle world' thing, but it's reasonable that a Muggleborn or Half-blood student would have, at least some, such knowledge. The author should use that kind of thing sparingly, however. It's particularly irksome when the author can't even get things and events withing the HP world placed within the correct time frame.
Obvious anachronisms irritate me. Knowing the when of something is a bit important if you're going to write a story. I won't have a fit if an author has a character using a crossbow a hundred years before they were invented. Those types of obscure facts that would only even be noticed by a historian don't bother me. The obvious things that most everyone should know do bother me. I have encountered at least three separate stories where Harry and company watch Peter Jackson's Lord Of the Rings trilogy. The first one hit theaters in the U.S. in November of 2001. Granted, I had to look that up on IMDB to get the right year, but I knew that it wasn't available in the early nineties. Of course, this particular example goes back to the whole 'knowledge of the Muggle world' thing, but it's reasonable that a Muggleborn or Half-blood student would have, at least some, such knowledge. The author should use that kind of thing sparingly, however. It's particularly irksome when the author can't even get things and events withing the HP world placed within the correct time frame.
I don't mind those kinds of mistakes in the author gives a date in the story or their notes that is consistent stuff in our world. For example, in the Jamie Snape series, the exact date is given in the Daily Profit that makes it obvious that the story isn't going to take place in the 90s but in the 2000s.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
On the other hand, if you're talking about the Weasleys, the Malfoys, the Longbottoms, or any other known all-wizarding family, then they should be 99.5% clueless about Muggle music.
That's exactly what I'm talking about. It makes sense for Hermione, Harry, Dean and even Seamus to be familiar with muggle culture. But for most others their knowledge is inexplicable and disconcerting for the reader.
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read" Groucho Marks
Obvious anachronisms irritate me. Knowing the when of something is a bit important if you're going to write a story. I won't have a fit if an author has a character using a crossbow a hundred years before they were invented. Those types of obscure facts that would only even be noticed by a historian don't bother me. The obvious things that most everyone should know do bother me. I have encountered at least three separate stories where Harry and company watch Peter Jackson's Lord Of the Rings trilogy. The first one hit theaters in the U.S. in November of 2001. Granted, I had to look that up on IMDB to get the right year, but I knew that it wasn't available in the early nineties. Of course, this particular example goes back to the whole 'knowledge of the Muggle world' thing, but it's reasonable that a Muggleborn or Half-blood student would have, at least some, such knowledge. The author should use that kind of thing sparingly, however. It's particularly irksome when the author can't even get things and events withing the HP world placed within the correct time frame.
I don't mind those kinds of mistakes in the author gives a date in the story or their notes that is consistent stuff in our world. For example, in the Jamie Snape series, the exact date is given in the Daily Profit that makes it obvious that the story isn't going to take place in the 90s but in the 2000s.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Yes! If I ever get around to actually writing my story instead of just planning it, I'm going to use that.
It bugs me that something like that can happen. Than/then, two/too/to, its/it's... those, I just expect to see. Prophet/profit? That's not the worst offender, but it's up there.
Obvious anachronisms irritate me. Knowing the when of something is a bit important if you're going to write a story. I won't have a fit if an author has a character using a crossbow a hundred years before they were invented. Those types of obscure facts that would only even be noticed by a historian don't bother me. The obvious things that most everyone should know do bother me. I have encountered at least three separate stories where Harry and company watch Peter Jackson's Lord Of the Rings trilogy. The first one hit theaters in the U.S. in November of 2001. Granted, I had to look that up on IMDB to get the right year, but I knew that it wasn't available in the early nineties. Of course, this particular example goes back to the whole 'knowledge of the Muggle world' thing, but it's reasonable that a Muggleborn or Half-blood student would have, at least some, such knowledge. The author should use that kind of thing sparingly, however. It's particularly irksome when the author can't even get things and events withing the HP world placed within the correct time frame.
I don't mind those kinds of mistakes in the author gives a date in the story or their notes that is consistent stuff in our world. For example, in the Jamie Snape series, the exact date is given in the Daily Profit that makes it obvious that the story isn't going to take place in the 90s but in the 2000s.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Daily Profit ? is that the financial pages?:p
Sorry about that. That is proof of what I mean when I say I can't be trusted to look over my own work, especially when I'm getting over some cold or what ever I've had for these past few days and talking to my friend about about a story she's working on where Lucius starts a stock market...
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
I've just read across this forum. By the way, Dino, would it be possible to have the navigation arrows at the top of the page as well? Scrolling down is quite tedious... ;-)
I don't know if this really is a spelling error or if the authors do not know the difference, or only know the first word: diffuse instead of defuse. There are really many occurrences of this one, and as I work a lot with electronics...
Concerning anachronisms:
- mobile phones in the early 90's were expensive, bulky devices that only professionals had in their cars. Phone bills were much higher as well (I remember something like 4 Swiss francs a minute for the US, compared to about 0.20 now)
- intensive use of the internet before 1995. Emails existed. Pegasus running on DOS was fun... One of the largest pages I can remember of was the Anarchist Cookbook...
- referencing to the war in Afghanistan, or having Arabella Figg's late husband die in Iraq.
- and many more
And about views on sexuality: I remember reading once that the UK has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe. From a continental point of view, I don't see the problem in having sex prior to marriage (both my parents and my girlfriend's are/were catholic and never had any problems with our sexual life, even while living at home), but in the way contraception - and in a lesser way abortion - is available and regarded in society.
Thanks to all authors for sharing their work!
Ilovecats
PS: There is also a spellchecker in this forum. Or is it firefox?
Another common mistake that makes me cringe...
My native language is French. One of the largest conceptual problem I had when I started actually conversing in German and English with their respective native speakers, was using possessive pronouns correctly.
In French, the congruence (am I using the right word here?) goes with the word the adjective applies to, not the owner. You say "ma voiture" regardless of the gender of the owner, because car is a feminine noun in French.
And the same applies to words when gender-specific spellings exist:
- Ginny would be Harry's "fiancée" and he would be her "fiancé".
- Fleur would be her father's "chérie" (her mother's, too), but Mr Delacour would be her wife's "chéri".
Another common mistake that makes me cringe...
My native language is French. One of the largest conceptual problem I had when I started actually conversing in German and English with their respective native speakers, was using possessive pronouns correctly.
In French, the congruence (am I using the right word here?) goes with the word the adjective applies to, not the owner. You say "ma voiture" regardless of the gender of the owner, because car is a feminine noun in French.
And the same applies to words when gender-specific spellings exist:
- Ginny would be Harry's "fiancée" and he would be her "fiancé".
- Fleur would be her father's "chérie" (her mother's, too), but Mr Delacour would be her wife's "chéri".
Hope it helps avoiding more of those...
Ilovecats
I may have forgotten most of the French I learned in the three years I took of it in High School, but occasionally I find mistakes like that in stories. There's another mistake I find in stories that have some French dialogue in them that tells me the author wrote the dialogue first in English then ran it through some online translator. Its getting vous and tu mixed up. Vous and tu both mean you in French however vous (correct me if I am wrong) is more formal and you use it if you are talking to a group of people or a superior.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but was it not the same in English with "thou" and "you", "you" being the (remaining) polite form?
I think such a case is also due to automatic translation: using "Oui" at the end of the sentence in the same way as "yes" in English. We would use "d'accord" or "n'est-ce pas", but never "oui".
Correct me if I'm wrong, but was it not the same in English with "thou" and "you", "you" being the (remaining) polite form?
I think such a case is also due to automatic translation: using "Oui" at the end of the sentence in the same way as "yes" in English. We would use "d'accord" or "n'est-ce pas", but never "oui".
The easiest way to have your characters converse in French is as follows:
« And this delightful young lady must be the charming Miss Weasley. Are you sure that you don't want a double rather than two singles?»
« No, Sylvie, two singles will be fine. I don't think her dad would forgive me if I took advantage of her like that.»
« If you say so.»
Ginny tapped her foot impatiently as the conversation proceeded without her involvement.
"Erm, when you two have finished promoting the Entente Cordiale, some of us are feeling a bit left out."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but was it not the same in English with "thou" and "you", "you" being the (remaining) polite form?
I think such a case is also due to automatic translation: using "Oui" at the end of the sentence in the same way as "yes" in English. We would use "d'accord" or "n'est-ce pas", but never "oui".
I was told the same regarding thou at school. Looking it up in websters 1828 we find....
THOU, v.t. To treat with familiarity.
If thou thouest him some thrice, it shall not be amiss.
In the 1913 edition this has become
The second personal pronoun, in the singular number, denoting the person addressed; thyself; the pronoun which is used in addressing persons in the solemn or poetical style.
Art thou he that should come? Matt. xi. 3.
* "In Old English, generally, thou is the language of a lord to a servant, of an equal to an equal, and expresses also companionship, love, permission, defiance, scorn, threatening: whilst ye is the language of a servant to a lord, and of compliment, and further expresses honor, submission, or entreaty." Skeat.
Worse still they also include...
To address as thou, esp. to do so in order to treat with insolent familiarity or contempt.
To address as thou, esp. to do so in order to treat with insolent familiarity or contempt.
That explains the game 'Dragon Warrior'. When you die, the screen says "Thou art dead." Were the game makers trying to show their contempt with anyone who couldn't remain alive during their game? I wonder.
That explains the game 'Dragon Warrior'. When you die, the screen says "Thou art dead." Were the game makers trying to show their contempt with anyone who couldn't remain alive during their game? I wonder.
I hated that message. I got to know it really well, though. Good times.
I'm really not fond of Harry protects Ginny because people are after her fics. Especially when she and Harry didn't know each other, but they want her cuz Ginny is a virgin. Uh, no. Actually, I just hate virginal maiden stories period. Anytime someones sexual status becomes a plot point...just, no.
Not fond of arranged marriages fics either. Then again, they both often use the V card.
Color me feminist.
But this is about warning signs I guess, to me, most of the above hold true. I hate ANs in the middle of the story. I actually like unusual summaries as that means the author knows how to grab attention. But I HATE when an author says that they'll continue based on reviews. Uh, then don't write it!
Within stories, I tend to stop reading if I feel one character is given too much power. There are too many gender cliches. If I feel the character has deviated so far from canon personality in a way I just don't care for. There are reasons to do it and it can work. But, If I don't particularly care for the totally different version of Harry you've created, then I probably don't care to read the story.
Anytime someones sexual status becomes a plot point...just, no.
Wow, you must really hate The Girl Who Lived. Rose Potter is a Druidess who, in order to attain her full Druidess powers, must lose her virginity to her one true love during a very public ceremony at the real Stonehenge, because the one we all know about is just a fake they set up to confuse the stupid Muggles. The stories are now only available through the author's Yahoo Group, as they have been removed by pretty much every fan fiction archive known to man. Plagiarism was the main reason, as there were huge blocks of text that were just copied from canon with changes made for the name and gender of the main character.
V wrote:
Within stories, I tend to stop reading if I feel one character is given too much power.
See above.
Yes, the stories (and I use the term loosely) are as bad as they sound. I found a forum where they had been sporked rather thoroughly. That was enjoyable, but the bit I actually tried to read was anything but.
An author writes a sixth-year story after OoTP. Then HBP comes out and the author writes a seventh-year sequel. Sequel being the key word. It's a sequel to their year six. In the summary, the author says that they will try to incorporate as many elements of HBP as possible, but some will not fit with their vision of year seven. Wait a minute! You wrote your own year six. Now, in your year seven, you're going to use events from JKRs year six (which didn't even happen because you wrote your own year six)? Huh?
To be fair, that usually just ends up with the author using Horcruxes. But not always. I won't even read a story that does that now. Usually that type of 'retro-active canon continuity' just ends in an epic fail.
Oi! I hadn't even heard of that story before, but now I know to steer well clear of it! Seriously, ew.
I don't mind power that makes sense, comes out in a believable way or if the other corresponding characters rise up in power as well. But when suddenly one person can apparently control the universe and everyone else is normal...well, that seems a bit boring :/.
I'm not overly fond of Arrogant Harry...it can be done well, but I don't think canon Harry is arrogant. I think he's reckless, stubborn and moody, but there is a difference. Now if he had been raised by James, perhaps, but otherwise, I like to keep his arrogance and angst within the realm of possibility; at a certain point he just becomes a different person all together if you take away all his humility and so on and so forth.
I guess extremes in characterization annoy me. Just because Harry is reckless doesn't mean he's insane or arrogant. Just because Ginny (well in canon Ginny is a bit bipolar, but that's not too far off for teenage girls) a tomboy doesn't mean she some sort of hardcore man hater nor is she a weepy wall flower. Just because Hermione likes the rules doesn't mean she would betray her friends for them. This actually annoys me the most. Canon SHOWS the Hermione values her friends above authority...so stop making her a goody too shoes tattle tale. And Ron, while he has his flaws, acts like a normal teenage boy who is sometimes jealous of his best friend and hates being in his brothers shadows, but will back the people up that he cares about when it counts. I don't know why people expect them to have complete adult understanding....they aren't adults yet, even if the grow up fast. They still got to work out the emotions.
That's another pet peeve. If you have Harry at 4-5 and he can think and talk like an adult or at least someone who is over 12, that annoys the crap out of me. He's a kid! He isn't a genius. No he can't hold deep adult conversations at eight. I'm talking about the clarity of his speech. I could live with clarity of thought, because it probably would make sense in his own mind. But when a four year old holds a conversation a 20 year old would...that's just breaks the illusion.
That's another pet peeve. If you have Harry at 4-5 and he can think and talk like an adult or at least someone who is over 12, that annoys the crap out of me. He's a kid! He isn't a genius. No he can't hold deep adult conversations at eight. I'm talking about the clarity of his speech. I could live with clarity of thought, because it probably would make sense in his own mind. But when a four year old holds a conversation a 20 year old would...that's just breaks the illusion.
If its one of those Harry gets a second chance stories, I can understand a physically four year old Harry talking like an adult.
That reminds me, I don't know I've mentioned this in this thread but there is a pet peeve of mine that is similar to yours. Harry lives some or all of his life over again to correct mistakes he made. He then ends up from the trying to make sure that the love of his life in the original timeline as soon as they meet into returning the feelings he has for her. I mean, often times he meets his love of his life when he is physically too young to have those kinds of feelings for a person. In some of those stories, he does things that I would say make him a pedophile. For example, in "Erasing the Future", a mentally 20 something year old Harry sends his soul back in time to when he is six. A few months after arriving in the past, he sleeps with a five year old Ginny! And that was not an isolated incident in the story. I lost count of how many times Harry slept with Ginny in that story. Nothing happens between them when they share a bed but the though that his mentally a grown man that is sleeping with a girl he has strong feelings for is so disturbing...
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Oh yes ... the PotterFicWeekly podcast scathes that very trope regularly. *laffs and laffs and wonders how many people here know what a bagel is *snort*
Sure if he's gone back in time and he is therefore not mentally four. I'm thinking more of when they want to write about Harry's younger years but they make him speak at a level close to what they have. Uh, not believable. If you can't write a believable four year old then don't try.
That said if Harry went back in time to four years of age and spoke like a 20 year old, I think he'd be giving himself away lol.
I totally understand what you mean about the love of your life thing. It's rather creepy, even when not meant sexually. I haven't read it, but I do remember in the Time Travelers Wife (I've seen the very beginning of the movie), he first meets his wife when she is very young (and he is naked) and he knows her throughout her whole life. Actually, I found that rather a weird premise too, so I can see where you're going with it.
Ever read the Sister Potter series by Radcliffe_Potterfan319 in HPFF?? Well, it's not THAT realistic, but still....and that's also one story that has a good explanation to Harry having a sister.
And on the realism: It's as realistic as Harry going to the Forbidden Forest, sacrificing himself, coming to life, pretending to be dead with so much talent that Hagrid doesn't feel a pulse, disappearing under the cloak when no-one notices, even with hundreds of people watching and killing Voldemort with an Expelliarmus.
Okay, I lied, it's about 10 times more realistic than that.
Actually, Jo's little scenes for the final show down had some serious magical juju going down. The (second) meeting between Harry and Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest is a bit more complicated than your summary. You have :
1) The accidental Horcrux, tying Harry to Voldemort,
2) Lily's sacrifice/blood ward over Harry which Voldemort suborned therefore accidentally tying him to Harry,
3) The whole sacrificial death replay by Harry himself, you'd think Voldemort would have learned... tsk tsk,
4) The little matter of all three Deathly Hallows recognizing Harry as their Master.
The only two people who knew Harry was alive were Harry and Narcissa Malfoy. Hagrid wasn't paying the least bit of attention because he knew Harry was dead! The next scene was like a magic show (pun intended). After displaying Harry's limp body to the audience his opponents Voldemort pulled everyone's attention to him, NO ONE was watching Harry. Some did notice Harry's missing body but then they were distracted by the ensuing confusion of Neville's denial of Voldemort and slaying Nagini and the reinforcements entering the battle. EVERYONE became rather busy in a melee of mortal duels. When Harry removed the Cloak the only person who shouldn't have been surprised was Narcissa, who was busy searching for her only child.
Voldemort wasn't killed by an Expellarimus, he was killed by his own rebounded Avada Kedavra.
I think the whole setup was realistic but opinions, like mileage, may vary.
Draco turnaround? Canon leaves the seeds for a believable plot, it is up to the fanfic author to sell it.
It's... Sick!Harry. I've read plenty of stories where he gets injured and spends a bit of time in the hospital wing - and I buy that, it's kind of a thing you have to do. He's vulnerable and doesn't trust easily due to the abuse, so it's fertile ground. But sick every chapter? Every chapter ending in darkness claiming him, him seeing no more,his last thoughts before blackness? It's out there. Oh, it's out there. And I'm currently hiding from it.
I hate that too. The only way an author can get away with having a constantly sick Harry is if its secondary to the plot like in "Harry Potter: Sirius Black's Godson". Harry has an hereditary illness but it doesn't dominate the plot of the story. The main plot is an AU fifth year with Sirius being proven innocent shortly after the events of GoF and the illness is mentioned every now and then.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Really, now...never seen one that wasn't utterly weird.
The adult-in-a-child's-body stories ought to have Pedo-Bear banners attached to them. I just read one in which Harry has false memories implanted in his head that "age him to nineteen" and so he has all of these strong romantic feelings for Ginny, even though she's eleven - but then due to the magic of self-justification she goes through the trauma of possession, which "ages" her mentally and thus means it's okay for her to have strong romantic feelings back. Let me get this straight - once she's been touched by evil, it's open season on her? "Oh, well, she looks like an eleven-year-old, but she's twenty-one on the inside..." Yeah, right. Tell that to the nice man from Dateline. Enjoy your cookie. That is paper-thin. Also, children "developing" physically at a too-early age seems either ignorant of biology or, well, icky. There are several stories which seem otherwise innocuous (in spite of poor grammar) that drop in a "Ginny was filling out nicely" at eleven years old, and you begin to wonder if the bad grammar were due to a mad dash on the part of the writer to get to the meaty stuff. I know this entire community is devoted to re-imagining the exploits of adolescents, but come on. It's possible to tell the story of kids who have crushes and realistic feelings and experiences without sounding like a total ephebophile or worse...
The adult-in-a-child's-body stories ought to have Pedo-Bear banners attached to them. I just read one in which Harry has false memories implanted in his head that "age him to nineteen" and so he has all of these strong romantic feelings for Ginny, even though she's eleven - but then due to the magic of self-justification she goes through the trauma of possession, which "ages" her mentally and thus means it's okay for her to have strong romantic feelings back. Let me get this straight - once she's been touched by evil, it's open season on her? "Oh, well, she looks like an eleven-year-old, but she's twenty-one on the inside..." Yeah, right. Tell that to the nice man from Dateline. Enjoy your cookie. That is paper-thin. Also, children "developing" physically at a too-early age seems either ignorant of biology or, well, icky. There are several stories which seem otherwise innocuous (in spite of poor grammar) that drop in a "Ginny was filling out nicely" at eleven years old, and you begin to wonder if the bad grammar were due to a mad dash on the part of the writer to get to the meaty stuff. I know this entire community is devoted to re-imagining the exploits of adolescents, but come on. It's possible to tell the story of kids who have crushes and realistic feelings and experiences without sounding like a total ephebophile or worse...
I totally agree with you, especially in stories that involve time travel. I won't give names but there is one story where a 20 something year old Harry sends his mind back to his 6 year old self. With how he acts in that story, I'm surprised the adults who know about the time travel (Sirius and Dumbledore) haven't told him he's behaving like a pedophile when it comes to Ginny (I've lost count of how many times he slept with her, starting with when he first met her in the new timeline - about six months after he arrived in the past).
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
You should hear PotterFicWeekly.com on the subject ... it's become something of a running joke. This is a problem with time travel stories and not all of them do it well. Also - what one person is okay with another person draws the line at.
I doubt I will ever write a time travelling redo fic myself too many pitfalls.
You should hear PotterFicWeekly.com on the subject ... it's become something of a running joke. This is a problem with time travel stories and not all of them do it well. Also - what one person is okay with another person draws the line at.
I doubt I will ever write a time travelling redo fic myself too many pitfalls.
I actually started a time travel fic that was a parody, with H&G having to repeat until they got it right. However, as they had been married for hundreds of years by then, and because towards the end of their lives physical intimacy was limited or worse, their first thought upon reentering their timeline was to make up for lost time.
There was a lot more to it than that; the whole series of events is being reviewed in a court in scenes inspired by the Star Trek episode, The Menagerie.
Having discussed the whole project with the owners of this site and others, I decided that the whole thing was too open to misinterpretation and that however you play it, a first year and a second year jumping into bed, however old their minds, is just that. I may return to it if I can find a way of keeping the essence and losing the (potential) controversy.
You should hear PotterFicWeekly.com on the subject ... it's become something of a running joke. This is a problem with time travel stories and not all of them do it well. Also - what one person is okay with another person draws the line at.
I doubt I will ever write a time travelling redo fic myself too many pitfalls.
That is one of the reason why I run my story ideas by my friends first because of the plot holes that could be in them like one I'm writing notes for right now... The biggest problem in the idea is the pre-Hogwarts stuff which is always a bare for me to do in any story, time travel or not...
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Having discussed the whole project with the owners of this site and others, I decided that the whole thing was too open to misinterpretation and that however you play it, a first year and a second year jumping into bed, however old their minds, is just that. I may return to it if I can find a way of keeping the essence and losing the (potential) controversy.
Well, what if it were less central to the story? You might have them making a big deal about getting back, and then waking up to discover that their desire, being hormone-driven, was now infuriatingly gone and icky-seeming. They came back too early to get satisfaction.
It seems to be a matter of course in fanfics now that Harry was terribly abused and this is another sign of Evil!Dumbledore.
It has been done well in a few stories where that is the point of the AU, but beaten and/or crippled Harry is a weak excuse for angst. Canon Dumbledore raises the blood wards to keep Harry safe from harm. It isn't specified that the harm comes only from Wizards.
We know Dudley and his gang (Harry's peers) attempted to beat up Harry in the past, but apparently NOT AFTER he begins Hogwarts. Jo writes in scenes of attempted physical abuse but those attempts are ineffective. Petunia swings a frying pan at his head (NOT a good thing) but he ducks and it misses. Vernon tries to choke him; he is shocked and immediately backs off. Harry also makes a reference (I can't find the quote) to not having recieved an allowance in (X) years. The time frame was such that up until he was six years old he apparently got an allowance, possibly for doing chores (the reason is pure speculation on my part). What happened when Harry was six? Hmm... Isn't that about the age when Accidental Magic manifests itself? Again speculation on my part but perhaps the Dursleys were hoping Childe Harry wasn't magical and gave him the benefit of the doubt, until there was no doubt. That might be when Petunia began shorting his rations as punishment (again, speculation).
What we do know of his neglect in canon is awful in its own right. He slept in the cupboard under the stairs for as long as he remembered; he does not remember every being given emotional support from his Aunt or Uncle; he is constantly verbally debased at Privet Drive.
The comment about the movies being the new canon has me wondering (do NOT get me started on Kloves!). The Dursleys are written mostly for comic effect. Their more despicable aspects from the books are glossed over (*cough* like Snape *cough*).
Well, what if it were less central to the story? You might have them making a big deal about getting back, and then waking up to discover that their desire, being hormone-driven, was now infuriatingly gone and icky-seeming. They came back too early to get satisfaction.
A possibility, but the whole thrust of the story was that they would rather do 'other things' rather than bother with the war having seen it several times through.
It seems to be a matter of course in fanfics now that Harry was terribly abused and this is another sign of Evil!Dumbledore.
It has been done well in a few stories where that is the point of the AU, but beaten and/or crippled Harry is a weak excuse for angst. Canon Dumbledore raises the blood wards to keep Harry safe from harm. It isn't specified that the harm comes only from Wizards.
We know Dudley and his gang (Harry's peers) attempted to beat up Harry in the past, but apparently NOT AFTER he begins Hogwarts. Jo writes in scenes of attempted physical abuse but those attempts are ineffective. Petunia swings a frying pan at his head (NOT a good thing) but he ducks and it misses. Vernon tries to choke him; he is shocked and immediately backs off. Harry also makes a reference (I can't find the quote) to not having recieved an allowance in (X) years. The time frame was such that up until he was six years old he apparently got an allowance, possibly for doing chores (the reason is pure speculation on my part). What happened when Harry was six? Hmm... Isn't that about the age when Accidental Magic manifests itself? Again speculation on my part but perhaps the Dursleys were hoping Childe Harry wasn't magical and gave him the benefit of the doubt, until there was no doubt. That might be when Petunia began shorting his rations as punishment (again, speculation).
What we do know of his neglect in canon is awful in its own right. He slept in the cupboard under the stairs for as long as he remembered; he does not remember every being given emotional support from his Aunt or Uncle; he is constantly verbally debased at Privet Drive.
The comment about the movies being the new canon has me wondering (do NOT get me started on Kloves!). The Dursleys are written mostly for comic effect. Their more despicable aspects from the books are glossed over (*cough* like Snape *cough*).
There is another problem with excessively abused Harry stories. How could something like that go unnoticed for so long? In most fan fictions I've read, its not discovered until after Harry's first year at Hogwarts. I mean, the teachers at his primary school would have noticed something long before that.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
the whole thrust of the story was that they would rather do 'other things' rather than bother with the war having seen it several times through.
Right, but even if they come back late into the horcrux hunt...well, I suppose there'd still be an age issue. Still, the idea of Ron and Hermione saying, "okay, let's go put an end to this," and Harry and Ginny saying, "err, can you give us, like, fifteen minutes? Make it twenty." has legs to me.
me is incredibly long clauses in quotes that are not attributed to anyone until the end. I've been reading a story that screams for beta work in many ways, and its language in general contains perhaps everything we've brought up in this thread, but I just noticed this one.
As in, "No, we'll have to go to the Great Hall for that. The artificial falling snow lacks heat, so the creatures will not be harmed by it, even though the falling motion might prevent their mating dance. This may be the only thing that will save the elaborate taffeta gowns worn by the Ravenclaws this year...but you know, last year's Niffler situation was probably preventable and has surely given every student adventurous enough to attempt piercings a degree of pause," Neville said as the four of them walked towards the forest.
I want to hear dialogue, and it's impossible to do so if you don't know who's speaking.
By the way, no, that was not from the story I was reading. And I apologize for it.
I completely agree with you, rbackwards. Throughout that whole bit of dialogue, I was hearing Luna speaking. But it was Neville. That passage was a perfect example to demonstrate your point.
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If you strike me down now, I shall become more annoying than you could possibly imagine.
Me too. I try and correct that when I beta. But I've noticed not all my beta recommendations make it through to the published chapter. When it's structural like that and not word choice I wonder why I bother doing the beta read.
On a general level, misspellings or errors in the summary are a major, if obvious, red flag. You only have three or four sentences. Try not to screw them up.
Content-wise, I find stories where Harry inherits a Potter Manor of some sort very derivative. It isn't a plausibility concern, since James was quite affluent, but the trope is a klaxon to me, warning of house elves and talking portraits ahead.
On a general level, misspellings or errors in the summary are a major, if obvious, red flag. You only have three or four sentences. Try not to screw them up.
Stating outright "I'm rubbish at summaries" doesn't exactly give the reader confidence.
"Better than it sounds" is also not a great way to go.
Quote:
Content-wise, I find stories where Harry inherits a Potter Manor of some sort very derivative. It isn't a plausibility concern, since James was quite affluent, but the trope is a klaxon to me, warning of house elves and talking portraits ahead.
Anybody know who started this trope?
The immediate question it raises in my mind is "WhyTF would James and Lily go and hide in a small two-up-two-down if they have a whole Manor to lair up in?" and some of the excuses are pretty much exercises in lameness.
The immediate question it raises in my mind is "WhyTF would James and Lily go and hide in a small two-up-two-down if they have a whole Manor to lair up in?" and some of the excuses are pretty much exercises in lameness.
If James' parents are still alive at this point (unclear in canon, I believe) that would be a possible explanation for a separate location for James & Lily to hide out in. If not, is the Godric's Hollow house where James grew up? If not what happened to that house? I guess we have fan fiction to answer these burning questions, and in every possible way.
The immediate question it raises in my mind is "WhyTF would James and Lily go and hide in a small two-up-two-down if they have a whole Manor to lair up in?" and some of the excuses are pretty much exercises in lameness.
Fate's Debt had a believable explanation for that. The Manor was too large to use the Fieldus Charm on.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Fate's Debt had a believable explanation for that. The Manor was too large to use the Fieldus Charm on.
I'm not sure I buy that. How many rooms did #12 Grimmauld Place have? I don't recall, but it was big. And it was clearly the ancestral home of the Black family, which was presented as very old, very powerful, and extremely wealthy. Is the Potters' home bigger than that?
One explanation might be that the Potter home included land, while #12 was in the city. But why bother putting the fidelius charm on the lawn? If you can't find the house, finding the land isn't going to help you, is it?
Fate's Debt had a believable explanation for that. The Manor was too large to use the Fieldus Charm on.
I'm not sure I buy that. How many rooms did #12 Grimmauld Place have? I don't recall, but it was big. And it was clearly the ancestral home of the Black family, which was presented as very old, very powerful, and extremely wealthy. Is the Potters' home bigger than that?
One explanation might be that the Potter home included land, while #12 was in the city. But why bother putting the fidelius charm on the lawn? If you can't find the house, finding the land isn't going to help you, is it?
It could also have something to do with the size of the place on the outside. It could take a lot harder to hid a place that the outside dementions are like that of a townhouse (#12 Grimmauld Place) than a place that has the outside dementions of a mansion. Based on what I recall what was said about the fidelius charm in PoA that would make sense.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Personally, I believe chapters should be at least 2500 words (about 5 pages typed); however, a good author would strive for between 6000 to 10000 words per chapter, about 12 to 20 pages typed. I am not a fan of chapters over 17000 words either, although I have written them myself and they are not a deal breaker for me. I still think, in many cases, that if there is a good break point in a long chapter that it should be used.
You must absolutely love kb's Unchampion. It's brilliant, but the one page takes hours to read...
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"Night falls and I'm running in circles (Whoa-oh-oh)
I'm being chased by my imagination (Whoa-oh-oh)"
Alesana - The Thespian
True enough. As for Taking Control - I don't mind it in that case, as it's a very well-told story. It works. (As an aside, I should have remembered the difference between schizophrenia and dissociative identity disorder. My bad.)
No, I'm talking about the "Harry was eight forms" stories.
Eight? Really? Why in the world would they possibly need that? If you're going to do that, just... make him a shape-shifter or something. Please.
Luckily, I have just the thing for you. Okay, I don't remember that much of it, but it's interesting enough.
and tha sequel http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1995612/1/Shadow_of_the_Serpent
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"Night falls and I'm running in circles (Whoa-oh-oh)
I'm being chased by my imagination (Whoa-oh-oh)"
Alesana - The Thespian
You must absolutely love kb's Unchampion. It's brilliant, but the one page takes hours to read...
There are exceptions to every rule.
- “Perhaps, in those days, there were a few among men, a few of clear sight and clean soul, who refused to surrender that word ["I"]. What agony must have been theirs before that which they saw coming and could not stop! Perhaps they cried out in protest
Hard road to HOme » by Halofreak021
Joel Urban is a normal 17 year old wizard who goes to United school in the American but NOw he going be over in England for the Qud tournment i suck at Summary but plz read the story Wrong boy who lived story Pleas Review the story.
Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,659 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 6-20-10 - Published: 6-3-10 - Harry P.
The author couldn't even be bothered to make sure the title was error free. The sheer number of errors in this very short summary should be enough to send any reader running in terror in the other direction. Out of morbid curiosity, I had a look at the 'story'. It's even worse. On top of the spelling and grammar issues, and the occasional netspeak, there are no breaks between paragraphs. My morbid curiosity satisfied, I shall now return to my previous task of trolling for a good story.
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If you strike me down now, I shall become more annoying than you could possibly imagine.
Hard road to HOme » by Halofreak021
Joel Urban is a normal 17 year-old wizard who goes to United school in the American but NOw he going be over in England for the Qud tournment i suck at Summary but plz read the story Wrong boy who lived story Pleas Review the story.
Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,659 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 6-20-10 - Published: 6-3-10 - Harry P.
The author couldn't even be bothered to make sure the title was error free. The sheer number of errors in this very short summary should be enough to send any reader running in terror in the other direction. Out of morbid curiosity, I had a look at the 'story'. It's even worse. On top of the spelling and grammar issues, and the occasional netspeak, there are no breaks between paragraphs.
I feel your pain. This is just FUBAR. There should be some kind of "fanfiction police" so these....things wouldn't just pop out. Then again, I'm a huge hypocrite since I can't write readable stories at all...yet. But yeah, this is hilarious, if a bit disturbing.
(btw R.O.T.F.L.S.H.V.U.A.K.O.M.A.I.L= Rolling On The Floor Laughing So Hard Voldemort Uses Avada Kedavra On Me And I Live)
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"Night falls and I'm running in circles (Whoa-oh-oh)
I'm being chased by my imagination (Whoa-oh-oh)"
Alesana - The Thespian
I would add parenthetical side remarks and pseudo-HTML coding in the synopsis to the list as bad portents, but that might re-raise some hackles 'round here.
Comments
For the record, based solely on the reviews of the stories I've written, I feel 100% confident in saying I have nailed all of these except Goody-Goody Snape and Nutcase-Molly. Though since I encourage Dave to push Molly a bit, maybe I can take a teensy bit of credit on that one.
This is a really useful list. It's shown me I have two more themes to write, minimum. Now if I can just think up a plot . . . maybe I can do a soul-bond spoof at the same time, and nail both of these in one fic? Molly freaks out, Snape becomes a concerned parent, H/G are re-sorted into Snake Central, and Draco is secretly Snape's son off Narcissa . . . hmm. This has Potential.
Overabundance of cliches - It's almost inevitable that an author will use some of the common fandom cliches and that's fine since I can handle just about any of them if they're done well. Taking Control comes to mind here as it has a couple and does them very well. But my ability to maintain the disbelief necessary to read fanfiction can only handle about 3-4 of the more common cliche's (long-lost family member, Harry quickly becoming a powerful dueler, animagus Harry, second generation of Marauders, rich Harry, Gryffindor/Merlin/Founder's heir, wandless magic, phoenix animagus, or Harry inventing a new magic/shield/whatever that's pivotal). I read a story yesterday that actually had every single one of those with the author constantly including the excuse that he had the idea before it became so common, so he didn't want to change his story outline.
Involving the Muggle world - occasionally, you'll find a story that includes the Muggle world and does it magnificently. Most of the time, it's crap.
This last one isn't so much a bad sign as a pet peeve that doesn't relate to the story's quality: I hate it when characters think out-loud often. Its a hold-over from movies, where we can't hear the characters thoughts. If you're writing a story and not filming a movie, there's no reason you can't get inside the characters' heads. People I know will mutter something to themselves every now and then (including me), but most people do not constantly think out loud whenever they're alone. However, it won't ruin the story for me; I'll just be annoyed half the time.
Edit: For those of you that are annoyed by spelling errors, I'd suggest copy-pasting the story into Word or another program (I use Jarte, a free wordpad based program). Run a spell check and add the names that are spelled correctly to your spellcheck library (Jarte lets me do this, I assume you can do it in Word). After about five-six stories, you'll have enough of a library to cover the common names and words specific to HP. I spend about ten minutes before I start reading a story to copy & paste it in, then spellcheck, and it saves me alot of annoyance as I read. If I like the story, I put the file in a folder to keep. If I don't, I delete it.
Beyond that, you can use the replace all function whenever you find something that spellcheck doesn't pick up. Such as the characters like to say "Ye gods" or something when shocked, and it bugs you because your HP-inclined brain would expect them to say "Merlin." See it once, use the replace all function to input what you'd prefer, and it does it through the whole story - permanently removing the eyesore from view. I also use spellcheck to find spell names (as they are normally Latin, English spellcheckers view them as wrong), italicize them (cause I just like how it looks), and then hit the ignore function so that if there's another of that same word, it'll pick it up and I can repeat. And last but not least, I change the background color (black) and text color (bright green) so that I don't have to read black-on-white all the time as it hurts my eyes. That, and I can make the text bigger to read more comfortably no matter where I find the story.
Truly. This thread provides inspiration for my Mary-Sue challenge fic *evil grin*
This is a really useful list. It's shown me I have two more themes to write, minimum. Now if I can just think up a plot . . . maybe I can do a soul-bond spoof at the same time, and nail both of these in one fic? Molly freaks out, Snape becomes a concerned parent, H/G are re-sorted into Snake Central, and Draco is secretly Snape's son off Narcissa . . . hmm. This has Potential.
Now this, I would really love to see.
Maybe written in a similar fashion as your hilarious Anti cliché. But then the questions remains, could you possibly outdo the previously attained level of satire and parody? And maybe, since you already intensely covered the topic of bonding you would have to think of another pretext.
Involving the Muggle world - occasionally, you'll find a story that includes the Muggle world and does it magnificently. Most of the time, it's crap.
I'm glad someone else pointed this one out! It drives me crazy when HP fanfic authors have the characters know so much about the Muggle world, listen to known Muggle songs, etc, etc. To me it is a sign that the author lacks creativity or they cannot really immerse themselves in the wizarding world.
While slightly off topic, it bothers me that a story was recently validated on SIYE that was one of the worst I've seen in a while as far as spelling and grammar errors. The staff usually blocks submissions this bad. If you've read it, you know which one I mean. The story itself was okay if a little OOC but almost every review remarked on the need for correcting the errors.
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read" Groucho Marks
While slightly off topic, it bothers me that a story was recently validated on SIYE that was one of the worst I've seen in a while as far as spelling and grammar errors. The staff usually blocks submissions this bad. If you've read it, you know which one I mean. The story itself was okay if a little OOC but almost every review remarked on the need for correcting the errors.
If you PM me the name of the story, I'll ask the archivists to re-examine the story. I haven't done a lot of reading lately, so I don't know which one you're talking about. Chances are that it just slipped through.
Dave
I'm glad someone else pointed this one out! It drives me crazy when HP fanfic authors have the characters know so much about the Muggle world, listen to known Muggle songs, etc, etc. To me it is a sign that the author lacks creativity or they cannot really immerse themselves in the wizarding world.
I think it's reasonable in some cases, though. Hermione would surely be basically familiar with Muggle music and other forms of entertainment. She wouldn't know about the latest hits, but over the summers she would probably at least hear about anything really significant. So, for example, since Meat Loaf's "Anything for Love" spent 7 weeks as the top single in 1993, starting in October, she would surely have heard it by August of 1994 at the latest. And if you're talking about Harry's musical tastes, then you almost have to use Muggle bands, because he clearly hadn't heard much wizarding music at all prior to December 1994. So he probably knows about the New Kids on the Block, Madonna, Elton John, and other artists that were very popular prior to September 1, 1991. After that, his exposure would probably be pretty spotty.
On the other hand, if you're talking about the Weasleys, the Malfoys, the Longbottoms, or any other known all-wizarding family, then they should be 99.5% clueless about Muggle music.
Obvious anachronisms irritate me. Knowing the when of something is a bit important if you're going to write a story. I won't have a fit if an author has a character using a crossbow a hundred years before they were invented. Those types of obscure facts that would only even be noticed by a historian don't bother me. The obvious things that most everyone should know do bother me. I have encountered at least three separate stories where Harry and company watch Peter Jackson's Lord Of the Rings trilogy. The first one hit theaters in the U.S. in November of 2001. Granted, I had to look that up on IMDB to get the right year, but I knew that it wasn't available in the early nineties. Of course, this particular example goes back to the whole 'knowledge of the Muggle world' thing, but it's reasonable that a Muggleborn or Half-blood student would have, at least some, such knowledge. The author should use that kind of thing sparingly, however. It's particularly irksome when the author can't even get things and events withing the HP world placed within the correct time frame.
Obvious anachronisms irritate me. Knowing the when of something is a bit important if you're going to write a story. I won't have a fit if an author has a character using a crossbow a hundred years before they were invented. Those types of obscure facts that would only even be noticed by a historian don't bother me. The obvious things that most everyone should know do bother me. I have encountered at least three separate stories where Harry and company watch Peter Jackson's Lord Of the Rings trilogy. The first one hit theaters in the U.S. in November of 2001. Granted, I had to look that up on IMDB to get the right year, but I knew that it wasn't available in the early nineties. Of course, this particular example goes back to the whole 'knowledge of the Muggle world' thing, but it's reasonable that a Muggleborn or Half-blood student would have, at least some, such knowledge. The author should use that kind of thing sparingly, however. It's particularly irksome when the author can't even get things and events withing the HP world placed within the correct time frame.
I don't mind those kinds of mistakes in the author gives a date in the story or their notes that is consistent stuff in our world. For example, in the Jamie Snape series, the exact date is given in the Daily Profit that makes it obvious that the story isn't going to take place in the 90s but in the 2000s.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
On the other hand, if you're talking about the Weasleys, the Malfoys, the Longbottoms, or any other known all-wizarding family, then they should be 99.5% clueless about Muggle music.
That's exactly what I'm talking about. It makes sense for Hermione, Harry, Dean and even Seamus to be familiar with muggle culture. But for most others their knowledge is inexplicable and disconcerting for the reader.
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read" Groucho Marks
Obvious anachronisms irritate me. Knowing the when of something is a bit important if you're going to write a story. I won't have a fit if an author has a character using a crossbow a hundred years before they were invented. Those types of obscure facts that would only even be noticed by a historian don't bother me. The obvious things that most everyone should know do bother me. I have encountered at least three separate stories where Harry and company watch Peter Jackson's Lord Of the Rings trilogy. The first one hit theaters in the U.S. in November of 2001. Granted, I had to look that up on IMDB to get the right year, but I knew that it wasn't available in the early nineties. Of course, this particular example goes back to the whole 'knowledge of the Muggle world' thing, but it's reasonable that a Muggleborn or Half-blood student would have, at least some, such knowledge. The author should use that kind of thing sparingly, however. It's particularly irksome when the author can't even get things and events withing the HP world placed within the correct time frame.
I don't mind those kinds of mistakes in the author gives a date in the story or their notes that is consistent stuff in our world. For example, in the Jamie Snape series, the exact date is given in the Daily Profit that makes it obvious that the story isn't going to take place in the 90s but in the 2000s.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Daily Profit ? is that the financial pages?:p
Daily Profit ? is that the financial pages?:p
Yes! If I ever get around to actually writing my story instead of just planning it, I'm going to use that.
It bugs me that something like that can happen. Than/then, two/too/to, its/it's... those, I just expect to see. Prophet/profit? That's not the worst offender, but it's up there.
Obvious anachronisms irritate me. Knowing the when of something is a bit important if you're going to write a story. I won't have a fit if an author has a character using a crossbow a hundred years before they were invented. Those types of obscure facts that would only even be noticed by a historian don't bother me. The obvious things that most everyone should know do bother me. I have encountered at least three separate stories where Harry and company watch Peter Jackson's Lord Of the Rings trilogy. The first one hit theaters in the U.S. in November of 2001. Granted, I had to look that up on IMDB to get the right year, but I knew that it wasn't available in the early nineties. Of course, this particular example goes back to the whole 'knowledge of the Muggle world' thing, but it's reasonable that a Muggleborn or Half-blood student would have, at least some, such knowledge. The author should use that kind of thing sparingly, however. It's particularly irksome when the author can't even get things and events withing the HP world placed within the correct time frame.
I don't mind those kinds of mistakes in the author gives a date in the story or their notes that is consistent stuff in our world. For example, in the Jamie Snape series, the exact date is given in the Daily Profit that makes it obvious that the story isn't going to take place in the 90s but in the 2000s.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Daily Profit ? is that the financial pages?:p
Sorry about that. That is proof of what I mean when I say I can't be trusted to look over my own work, especially when I'm getting over some cold or what ever I've had for these past few days and talking to my friend about about a story she's working on where Lucius starts a stock market...
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Hi!
I've just read across this forum. By the way, Dino, would it be possible to have the navigation arrows at the top of the page as well? Scrolling down is quite tedious... ;-)
I don't know if this really is a spelling error or if the authors do not know the difference, or only know the first word: diffuse instead of defuse. There are really many occurrences of this one, and as I work a lot with electronics...
Concerning anachronisms:
- mobile phones in the early 90's were expensive, bulky devices that only professionals had in their cars. Phone bills were much higher as well (I remember something like 4 Swiss francs a minute for the US, compared to about 0.20 now)
- intensive use of the internet before 1995. Emails existed. Pegasus running on DOS was fun... One of the largest pages I can remember of was the Anarchist Cookbook...
- referencing to the war in Afghanistan, or having Arabella Figg's late husband die in Iraq.
- and many more
And about views on sexuality: I remember reading once that the UK has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe. From a continental point of view, I don't see the problem in having sex prior to marriage (both my parents and my girlfriend's are/were catholic and never had any problems with our sexual life, even while living at home), but in the way contraception - and in a lesser way abortion - is available and regarded in society.
Thanks to all authors for sharing their work!
Ilovecats
PS: There is also a spellchecker in this forum. Or is it firefox?
Another common mistake that makes me cringe...
My native language is French. One of the largest conceptual problem I had when I started actually conversing in German and English with their respective native speakers, was using possessive pronouns correctly.
In French, the congruence (am I using the right word here?) goes with the word the adjective applies to, not the owner. You say "ma voiture" regardless of the gender of the owner, because car is a feminine noun in French.
And the same applies to words when gender-specific spellings exist:
- Ginny would be Harry's "fiancée" and he would be her "fiancé".
- Fleur would be her father's "chérie" (her mother's, too), but Mr Delacour would be her wife's "chéri".
Hope it helps avoiding more of those...
Ilovecats
Another common mistake that makes me cringe...
My native language is French. One of the largest conceptual problem I had when I started actually conversing in German and English with their respective native speakers, was using possessive pronouns correctly.
In French, the congruence (am I using the right word here?) goes with the word the adjective applies to, not the owner. You say "ma voiture" regardless of the gender of the owner, because car is a feminine noun in French.
And the same applies to words when gender-specific spellings exist:
- Ginny would be Harry's "fiancée" and he would be her "fiancé".
- Fleur would be her father's "chérie" (her mother's, too), but Mr Delacour would be her wife's "chéri".
Hope it helps avoiding more of those...
Ilovecats
I may have forgotten most of the French I learned in the three years I took of it in High School, but occasionally I find mistakes like that in stories. There's another mistake I find in stories that have some French dialogue in them that tells me the author wrote the dialogue first in English then ran it through some online translator. Its getting vous and tu mixed up. Vous and tu both mean you in French however vous (correct me if I am wrong) is more formal and you use it if you are talking to a group of people or a superior.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but was it not the same in English with "thou" and "you", "you" being the (remaining) polite form?
I think such a case is also due to automatic translation: using "Oui" at the end of the sentence in the same way as "yes" in English. We would use "d'accord" or "n'est-ce pas", but never "oui".
Correct me if I'm wrong, but was it not the same in English with "thou" and "you", "you" being the (remaining) polite form?
I think such a case is also due to automatic translation: using "Oui" at the end of the sentence in the same way as "yes" in English. We would use "d'accord" or "n'est-ce pas", but never "oui".
The easiest way to have your characters converse in French is as follows:
« And this delightful young lady must be the charming Miss Weasley. Are you sure that you don't want a double rather than two singles?»
« No, Sylvie, two singles will be fine. I don't think her dad would forgive me if I took advantage of her like that.»
« If you say so.»
Ginny tapped her foot impatiently as the conversation proceeded without her involvement.
"Erm, when you two have finished promoting the Entente Cordiale, some of us are feeling a bit left out."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but was it not the same in English with "thou" and "you", "you" being the (remaining) polite form?
I think such a case is also due to automatic translation: using "Oui" at the end of the sentence in the same way as "yes" in English. We would use "d'accord" or "n'est-ce pas", but never "oui".
I was told the same regarding thou at school. Looking it up in websters 1828 we find....
THOU, v.t. To treat with familiarity.
If thou thouest him some thrice, it shall not be amiss.
In the 1913 edition this has become
The second personal pronoun, in the singular number, denoting the person addressed; thyself; the pronoun which is used in addressing persons in the solemn or poetical style.
Art thou he that should come? Matt. xi. 3.
* "In Old English, generally, thou is the language of a lord to a servant, of an equal to an equal, and expresses also companionship, love, permission, defiance, scorn, threatening: whilst ye is the language of a servant to a lord, and of compliment, and further expresses honor, submission, or entreaty." Skeat.
Worse still they also include...
To address as thou, esp. to do so in order to treat with insolent familiarity or contempt.
To address as thou, esp. to do so in order to treat with insolent familiarity or contempt.
That explains the game 'Dragon Warrior'. When you die, the screen says "Thou art dead." Were the game makers trying to show their contempt with anyone who couldn't remain alive during their game? I wonder.
That explains the game 'Dragon Warrior'. When you die, the screen says "Thou art dead." Were the game makers trying to show their contempt with anyone who couldn't remain alive during their game? I wonder.
I hated that message. I got to know it really well, though. Good times.
I'm really not fond of Harry protects Ginny because people are after her fics. Especially when she and Harry didn't know each other, but they want her cuz Ginny is a virgin. Uh, no. Actually, I just hate virginal maiden stories period. Anytime someones sexual status becomes a plot point...just, no.
Not fond of arranged marriages fics either. Then again, they both often use the V card.
Color me feminist.
But this is about warning signs I guess, to me, most of the above hold true. I hate ANs in the middle of the story. I actually like unusual summaries as that means the author knows how to grab attention. But I HATE when an author says that they'll continue based on reviews. Uh, then don't write it!
Within stories, I tend to stop reading if I feel one character is given too much power. There are too many gender cliches. If I feel the character has deviated so far from canon personality in a way I just don't care for. There are reasons to do it and it can work. But, If I don't particularly care for the totally different version of Harry you've created, then I probably don't care to read the story.
Anytime someones sexual status becomes a plot point...just, no.
Wow, you must really hate The Girl Who Lived. Rose Potter is a Druidess who, in order to attain her full Druidess powers, must lose her virginity to her one true love during a very public ceremony at the real Stonehenge, because the one we all know about is just a fake they set up to confuse the stupid Muggles. The stories are now only available through the author's Yahoo Group, as they have been removed by pretty much every fan fiction archive known to man. Plagiarism was the main reason, as there were huge blocks of text that were just copied from canon with changes made for the name and gender of the main character.
Within stories, I tend to stop reading if I feel one character is given too much power.
See above.
Yes, the stories (and I use the term loosely) are as bad as they sound. I found a forum where they had been sporked rather thoroughly. That was enjoyable, but the bit I actually tried to read was anything but.
An author writes a sixth-year story after OoTP. Then HBP comes out and the author writes a seventh-year sequel. Sequel being the key word. It's a sequel to their year six. In the summary, the author says that they will try to incorporate as many elements of HBP as possible, but some will not fit with their vision of year seven. Wait a minute! You wrote your own year six. Now, in your year seven, you're going to use events from JKRs year six (which didn't even happen because you wrote your own year six)? Huh?
To be fair, that usually just ends up with the author using Horcruxes. But not always. I won't even read a story that does that now. Usually that type of 'retro-active canon continuity' just ends in an epic fail.
Oi! I hadn't even heard of that story before, but now I know to steer well clear of it! Seriously, ew.
I don't mind power that makes sense, comes out in a believable way or if the other corresponding characters rise up in power as well. But when suddenly one person can apparently control the universe and everyone else is normal...well, that seems a bit boring :/.
I'm not overly fond of Arrogant Harry...it can be done well, but I don't think canon Harry is arrogant. I think he's reckless, stubborn and moody, but there is a difference. Now if he had been raised by James, perhaps, but otherwise, I like to keep his arrogance and angst within the realm of possibility; at a certain point he just becomes a different person all together if you take away all his humility and so on and so forth.
I guess extremes in characterization annoy me. Just because Harry is reckless doesn't mean he's insane or arrogant. Just because Ginny (well in canon Ginny is a bit bipolar, but that's not too far off for teenage girls) a tomboy doesn't mean she some sort of hardcore man hater nor is she a weepy wall flower. Just because Hermione likes the rules doesn't mean she would betray her friends for them. This actually annoys me the most. Canon SHOWS the Hermione values her friends above authority...so stop making her a goody too shoes tattle tale. And Ron, while he has his flaws, acts like a normal teenage boy who is sometimes jealous of his best friend and hates being in his brothers shadows, but will back the people up that he cares about when it counts. I don't know why people expect them to have complete adult understanding....they aren't adults yet, even if the grow up fast. They still got to work out the emotions.
That's another pet peeve. If you have Harry at 4-5 and he can think and talk like an adult or at least someone who is over 12, that annoys the crap out of me. He's a kid! He isn't a genius. No he can't hold deep adult conversations at eight. I'm talking about the clarity of his speech. I could live with clarity of thought, because it probably would make sense in his own mind. But when a four year old holds a conversation a 20 year old would...that's just breaks the illusion.
That's another pet peeve. If you have Harry at 4-5 and he can think and talk like an adult or at least someone who is over 12, that annoys the crap out of me. He's a kid! He isn't a genius. No he can't hold deep adult conversations at eight. I'm talking about the clarity of his speech. I could live with clarity of thought, because it probably would make sense in his own mind. But when a four year old holds a conversation a 20 year old would...that's just breaks the illusion.
If its one of those Harry gets a second chance stories, I can understand a physically four year old Harry talking like an adult.
That reminds me, I don't know I've mentioned this in this thread but there is a pet peeve of mine that is similar to yours. Harry lives some or all of his life over again to correct mistakes he made. He then ends up from the trying to make sure that the love of his life in the original timeline as soon as they meet into returning the feelings he has for her. I mean, often times he meets his love of his life when he is physically too young to have those kinds of feelings for a person. In some of those stories, he does things that I would say make him a pedophile. For example, in "Erasing the Future", a mentally 20 something year old Harry sends his soul back in time to when he is six. A few months after arriving in the past, he sleeps with a five year old Ginny! And that was not an isolated incident in the story. I lost count of how many times Harry slept with Ginny in that story. Nothing happens between them when they share a bed but the though that his mentally a grown man that is sleeping with a girl he has strong feelings for is so disturbing...
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Oh yes ... the PotterFicWeekly podcast scathes that very trope regularly. *laffs and laffs and wonders how many people here know what a bagel is *snort*
Sure if he's gone back in time and he is therefore not mentally four. I'm thinking more of when they want to write about Harry's younger years but they make him speak at a level close to what they have. Uh, not believable. If you can't write a believable four year old then don't try.
That said if Harry went back in time to four years of age and spoke like a 20 year old, I think he'd be giving himself away lol.
I totally understand what you mean about the love of your life thing. It's rather creepy, even when not meant sexually. I haven't read it, but I do remember in the Time Travelers Wife (I've seen the very beginning of the movie), he first meets his wife when she is very young (and he is naked) and he knows her throughout her whole life. Actually, I found that rather a weird premise too, so I can see where you're going with it.
Finding what seems to be a fairly interesting post-battle fic, which claims to fill in the gap between the last two chapters of DH…
Deciding to take a look at the reviews to see what other people thought about it…
Finding a review for a recent chapter which says "I don't like how you added the Draco/Ginny thing, that's spoiled it for me."
That kind of spoils it for me too :-(
Finding what seems to be a fairly interesting post-battle fic, which claims to fill in the gap between the last two chapters of DH…
Deciding to take a look at the reviews to see what other people thought about it…
Finding a review for a recent chapter which says "I don't like how you added the Draco/Ginny thing, that's spoiled it for me."
That kind of spoils it for me too :-(
I hope you sent a boquet to the reviewer....
Ever read the Sister Potter series by Radcliffe_Potterfan319 in HPFF?? Well, it's not THAT realistic, but still....and that's also one story that has a good explanation to Harry having a sister.
And on the realism: It's as realistic as Harry going to the Forbidden Forest, sacrificing himself, coming to life, pretending to be dead with so much talent that Hagrid doesn't feel a pulse, disappearing under the cloak when no-one notices, even with hundreds of people watching and killing Voldemort with an Expelliarmus.
Okay, I lied, it's about 10 times more realistic than that.
________________________________________________________________
"Night falls and I'm running in circles (Whoa-oh-oh)
I'm being chased by my imagination (Whoa-oh-oh)"
Alesana - The Thespian
Actually, Jo's little scenes for the final show down had some serious magical juju going down. The (second) meeting between Harry and Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest is a bit more complicated than your summary. You have :
1) The accidental Horcrux, tying Harry to Voldemort,
2) Lily's sacrifice/blood ward over Harry which Voldemort suborned therefore accidentally tying him to Harry,
3) The whole sacrificial death replay by Harry himself, you'd think Voldemort would have learned... tsk tsk,
4) The little matter of all three Deathly Hallows recognizing Harry as their Master.
The only two people who knew Harry was alive were Harry and Narcissa Malfoy. Hagrid wasn't paying the least bit of attention because he knew Harry was dead! The next scene was like a magic show (pun intended). After displaying Harry's limp body to
the audiencehis opponents Voldemort pulled everyone's attention to him, NO ONE was watching Harry. Some did notice Harry's missing body but then they were distracted by the ensuing confusion of Neville's denial of Voldemort and slaying Nagini and the reinforcements entering the battle. EVERYONE became rather busy in a melee of mortal duels. When Harry removed the Cloak the only person who shouldn't have been surprised was Narcissa, who was busy searching for her only child.Voldemort wasn't killed by an Expellarimus, he was killed by his own rebounded Avada Kedavra.
I think the whole setup was realistic but opinions, like mileage, may vary.
Draco turnaround? Canon leaves the seeds for a believable plot, it is up to the fanfic author to sell it.
It's... Sick!Harry. I've read plenty of stories where he gets injured and spends a bit of time in the hospital wing - and I buy that, it's kind of a thing you have to do. He's vulnerable and doesn't trust easily due to the abuse, so it's fertile ground. But sick every chapter? Every chapter ending in darkness claiming him, him seeing no more,his last thoughts before blackness? It's out there. Oh, it's out there. And I'm currently hiding from it.
I hate that too. The only way an author can get away with having a constantly sick Harry is if its secondary to the plot like in "Harry Potter: Sirius Black's Godson". Harry has an hereditary illness but it doesn't dominate the plot of the story. The main plot is an AU fifth year with Sirius being proven innocent shortly after the events of GoF and the illness is mentioned every now and then.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
The adult-in-a-child's-body stories ought to have Pedo-Bear banners attached to them. I just read one in which Harry has false memories implanted in his head that "age him to nineteen" and so he has all of these strong romantic feelings for Ginny, even though she's eleven - but then due to the magic of self-justification she goes through the trauma of possession, which "ages" her mentally and thus means it's okay for her to have strong romantic feelings back. Let me get this straight - once she's been touched by evil, it's open season on her? "Oh, well, she looks like an eleven-year-old, but she's twenty-one on the inside..." Yeah, right. Tell that to the nice man from Dateline. Enjoy your cookie. That is paper-thin. Also, children "developing" physically at a too-early age seems either ignorant of biology or, well, icky. There are several stories which seem otherwise innocuous (in spite of poor grammar) that drop in a "Ginny was filling out nicely" at eleven years old, and you begin to wonder if the bad grammar were due to a mad dash on the part of the writer to get to the meaty stuff. I know this entire community is devoted to re-imagining the exploits of adolescents, but come on. It's possible to tell the story of kids who have crushes and realistic feelings and experiences without sounding like a total ephebophile or worse...
The adult-in-a-child's-body stories ought to have Pedo-Bear banners attached to them. I just read one in which Harry has false memories implanted in his head that "age him to nineteen" and so he has all of these strong romantic feelings for Ginny, even though she's eleven - but then due to the magic of self-justification she goes through the trauma of possession, which "ages" her mentally and thus means it's okay for her to have strong romantic feelings back. Let me get this straight - once she's been touched by evil, it's open season on her? "Oh, well, she looks like an eleven-year-old, but she's twenty-one on the inside..." Yeah, right. Tell that to the nice man from Dateline. Enjoy your cookie. That is paper-thin. Also, children "developing" physically at a too-early age seems either ignorant of biology or, well, icky. There are several stories which seem otherwise innocuous (in spite of poor grammar) that drop in a "Ginny was filling out nicely" at eleven years old, and you begin to wonder if the bad grammar were due to a mad dash on the part of the writer to get to the meaty stuff. I know this entire community is devoted to re-imagining the exploits of adolescents, but come on. It's possible to tell the story of kids who have crushes and realistic feelings and experiences without sounding like a total ephebophile or worse...
I totally agree with you, especially in stories that involve time travel. I won't give names but there is one story where a 20 something year old Harry sends his mind back to his 6 year old self. With how he acts in that story, I'm surprised the adults who know about the time travel (Sirius and Dumbledore) haven't told him he's behaving like a pedophile when it comes to Ginny (I've lost count of how many times he slept with her, starting with when he first met her in the new timeline - about six months after he arrived in the past).
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
You should hear PotterFicWeekly.com on the subject ... it's become something of a running joke. This is a problem with time travel stories and not all of them do it well. Also - what one person is okay with another person draws the line at.
I doubt I will ever write a time travelling redo fic myself too many pitfalls.
You should hear PotterFicWeekly.com on the subject ... it's become something of a running joke. This is a problem with time travel stories and not all of them do it well. Also - what one person is okay with another person draws the line at.
I doubt I will ever write a time travelling redo fic myself too many pitfalls.
I actually started a time travel fic that was a parody, with H&G having to repeat until they got it right. However, as they had been married for hundreds of years by then, and because towards the end of their lives physical intimacy was limited or worse, their first thought upon reentering their timeline was to make up for lost time.
There was a lot more to it than that; the whole series of events is being reviewed in a court in scenes inspired by the Star Trek episode, The Menagerie.
Having discussed the whole project with the owners of this site and others, I decided that the whole thing was too open to misinterpretation and that however you play it, a first year and a second year jumping into bed, however old their minds, is just that. I may return to it if I can find a way of keeping the essence and losing the (potential) controversy.
You should hear PotterFicWeekly.com on the subject ... it's become something of a running joke. This is a problem with time travel stories and not all of them do it well. Also - what one person is okay with another person draws the line at.
I doubt I will ever write a time travelling redo fic myself too many pitfalls.
That is one of the reason why I run my story ideas by my friends first because of the plot holes that could be in them like one I'm writing notes for right now... The biggest problem in the idea is the pre-Hogwarts stuff which is always a bare for me to do in any story, time travel or not...
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
parakletos wrote:
Well, what if it were less central to the story? You might have them making a big deal about getting back, and then waking up to discover that their desire, being hormone-driven, was now infuriatingly gone and icky-seeming. They came back too early to get satisfaction.
It seems to be a matter of course in fanfics now that Harry was terribly abused and this is another sign of Evil!Dumbledore.
It has been done well in a few stories where that is the point of the AU, but beaten and/or crippled Harry is a weak excuse for angst. Canon Dumbledore raises the blood wards to keep Harry safe from harm. It isn't specified that the harm comes only from Wizards.
We know Dudley and his gang (Harry's peers) attempted to beat up Harry in the past, but apparently NOT AFTER he begins Hogwarts. Jo writes in scenes of attempted physical abuse but those attempts are ineffective. Petunia swings a frying pan at his head (NOT a good thing) but he ducks and it misses. Vernon tries to choke him; he is shocked and immediately backs off. Harry also makes a reference (I can't find the quote) to not having recieved an allowance in (X) years. The time frame was such that up until he was six years old he apparently got an allowance, possibly for doing chores (the reason is pure speculation on my part). What happened when Harry was six? Hmm... Isn't that about the age when Accidental Magic manifests itself? Again speculation on my part but perhaps the Dursleys were hoping Childe Harry wasn't magical and gave him the benefit of the doubt, until there was no doubt. That might be when Petunia began shorting his rations as punishment (again, speculation).
What we do know of his neglect in canon is awful in its own right. He slept in the cupboard under the stairs for as long as he remembered; he does not remember every being given emotional support from his Aunt or Uncle; he is constantly verbally debased at Privet Drive.
The comment about the movies being the new canon has me wondering (do NOT get me started on Kloves!). The Dursleys are written mostly for comic effect. Their more despicable aspects from the books are glossed over (*cough* like Snape *cough*).
Well, what if it were less central to the story? You might have them making a big deal about getting back, and then waking up to discover that their desire, being hormone-driven, was now infuriatingly gone and icky-seeming. They came back too early to get satisfaction.
A possibility, but the whole thrust of the story was that they would rather do 'other things' rather than bother with the war having seen it several times through.
It seems to be a matter of course in fanfics now that Harry was terribly abused and this is another sign of Evil!Dumbledore.
It has been done well in a few stories where that is the point of the AU, but beaten and/or crippled Harry is a weak excuse for angst. Canon Dumbledore raises the blood wards to keep Harry safe from harm. It isn't specified that the harm comes only from Wizards.
We know Dudley and his gang (Harry's peers) attempted to beat up Harry in the past, but apparently NOT AFTER he begins Hogwarts. Jo writes in scenes of attempted physical abuse but those attempts are ineffective. Petunia swings a frying pan at his head (NOT a good thing) but he ducks and it misses. Vernon tries to choke him; he is shocked and immediately backs off. Harry also makes a reference (I can't find the quote) to not having recieved an allowance in (X) years. The time frame was such that up until he was six years old he apparently got an allowance, possibly for doing chores (the reason is pure speculation on my part). What happened when Harry was six? Hmm... Isn't that about the age when Accidental Magic manifests itself? Again speculation on my part but perhaps the Dursleys were hoping Childe Harry wasn't magical and gave him the benefit of the doubt, until there was no doubt. That might be when Petunia began shorting his rations as punishment (again, speculation).
What we do know of his neglect in canon is awful in its own right. He slept in the cupboard under the stairs for as long as he remembered; he does not remember every being given emotional support from his Aunt or Uncle; he is constantly verbally debased at Privet Drive.
The comment about the movies being the new canon has me wondering (do NOT get me started on Kloves!). The Dursleys are written mostly for comic effect. Their more despicable aspects from the books are glossed over (*cough* like Snape *cough*).
There is another problem with excessively abused Harry stories. How could something like that go unnoticed for so long? In most fan fictions I've read, its not discovered until after Harry's first year at Hogwarts. I mean, the teachers at his primary school would have noticed something long before that.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Right, but even if they come back late into the horcrux hunt...well, I suppose there'd still be an age issue. Still, the idea of Ron and Hermione saying, "okay, let's go put an end to this," and Harry and Ginny saying, "err, can you give us, like, fifteen minutes? Make it twenty." has legs to me.
me is incredibly long clauses in quotes that are not attributed to anyone until the end. I've been reading a story that screams for beta work in many ways, and its language in general contains perhaps everything we've brought up in this thread, but I just noticed this one.
As in, "No, we'll have to go to the Great Hall for that. The artificial falling snow lacks heat, so the creatures will not be harmed by it, even though the falling motion might prevent their mating dance. This may be the only thing that will save the elaborate taffeta gowns worn by the Ravenclaws this year...but you know, last year's Niffler situation was probably preventable and has surely given every student adventurous enough to attempt piercings a degree of pause," Neville said as the four of them walked towards the forest.
I want to hear dialogue, and it's impossible to do so if you don't know who's speaking.
By the way, no, that was not from the story I was reading. And I apologize for it.
I completely agree with you, rbackwards. Throughout that whole bit of dialogue, I was hearing Luna speaking. But it was Neville. That passage was a perfect example to demonstrate your point.
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If you strike me down now, I shall become more annoying than you could possibly imagine.
Me too. I try and correct that when I beta. But I've noticed not all my beta recommendations make it through to the published chapter. When it's structural like that and not word choice I wonder why I bother doing the beta read.
On a general level, misspellings or errors in the summary are a major, if obvious, red flag. You only have three or four sentences. Try not to screw them up.
Content-wise, I find stories where Harry inherits a Potter Manor of some sort very derivative. It isn't a plausibility concern, since James was quite affluent, but the trope is a klaxon to me, warning of house elves and talking portraits ahead.
On a general level, misspellings or errors in the summary are a major, if obvious, red flag. You only have three or four sentences. Try not to screw them up.
Stating outright "I'm rubbish at summaries" doesn't exactly give the reader confidence.
"Better than it sounds" is also not a great way to go.
Content-wise, I find stories where Harry inherits a Potter Manor of some sort very derivative. It isn't a plausibility concern, since James was quite affluent, but the trope is a klaxon to me, warning of house elves and talking portraits ahead.
Anybody know who started this trope?
The immediate question it raises in my mind is "WhyTF would James and Lily go and hide in a small two-up-two-down if they have a whole Manor to lair up in?" and some of the excuses are pretty much exercises in lameness.
The immediate question it raises in my mind is "WhyTF would James and Lily go and hide in a small two-up-two-down if they have a whole Manor to lair up in?" and some of the excuses are pretty much exercises in lameness.
If James' parents are still alive at this point (unclear in canon, I believe) that would be a possible explanation for a separate location for James & Lily to hide out in. If not, is the Godric's Hollow house where James grew up? If not what happened to that house? I guess we have fan fiction to answer these burning questions, and in every possible way.
The immediate question it raises in my mind is "WhyTF would James and Lily go and hide in a small two-up-two-down if they have a whole Manor to lair up in?" and some of the excuses are pretty much exercises in lameness.
Fate's Debt had a believable explanation for that. The Manor was too large to use the Fieldus Charm on.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Fate's Debt had a believable explanation for that. The Manor was too large to use the Fieldus Charm on.
I'm not sure I buy that. How many rooms did #12 Grimmauld Place have? I don't recall, but it was big. And it was clearly the ancestral home of the Black family, which was presented as very old, very powerful, and extremely wealthy. Is the Potters' home bigger than that?
One explanation might be that the Potter home included land, while #12 was in the city. But why bother putting the fidelius charm on the lawn? If you can't find the house, finding the land isn't going to help you, is it?
Fate's Debt had a believable explanation for that. The Manor was too large to use the Fieldus Charm on.
I'm not sure I buy that. How many rooms did #12 Grimmauld Place have? I don't recall, but it was big. And it was clearly the ancestral home of the Black family, which was presented as very old, very powerful, and extremely wealthy. Is the Potters' home bigger than that?
One explanation might be that the Potter home included land, while #12 was in the city. But why bother putting the fidelius charm on the lawn? If you can't find the house, finding the land isn't going to help you, is it?
It could also have something to do with the size of the place on the outside. It could take a lot harder to hid a place that the outside dementions are like that of a townhouse (#12 Grimmauld Place) than a place that has the outside dementions of a mansion. Based on what I recall what was said about the fidelius charm in PoA that would make sense.
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Personally, I believe chapters should be at least 2500 words (about 5 pages typed); however, a good author would strive for between 6000 to 10000 words per chapter, about 12 to 20 pages typed. I am not a fan of chapters over 17000 words either, although I have written them myself and they are not a deal breaker for me. I still think, in many cases, that if there is a good break point in a long chapter that it should be used.
You must absolutely love kb's Unchampion. It's brilliant, but the one page takes hours to read...
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"Night falls and I'm running in circles (Whoa-oh-oh)
I'm being chased by my imagination (Whoa-oh-oh)"
Alesana - The Thespian
True enough. As for Taking Control - I don't mind it in that case, as it's a very well-told story. It works. (As an aside, I should have remembered the difference between schizophrenia and dissociative identity disorder. My bad.)
No, I'm talking about the "Harry was eight forms" stories.
Eight? Really? Why in the world would they possibly need that? If you're going to do that, just... make him a shape-shifter or something. Please.
Luckily, I have just the thing for you. Okay, I don't remember that much of it, but it's interesting enough.
Home alone by KEDme http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1585077/1/Home_Alone
and tha sequel http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1995612/1/Shadow_of_the_Serpent
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"Night falls and I'm running in circles (Whoa-oh-oh)
I'm being chased by my imagination (Whoa-oh-oh)"
Alesana - The Thespian
You must absolutely love kb's Unchampion. It's brilliant, but the one page takes hours to read...
There are exceptions to every rule.
- “Perhaps, in those days, there were a few among men, a few of clear sight and clean soul, who refused to surrender that word ["I"]. What agony must have been theirs before that which they saw coming and could not stop! Perhaps they cried out in protest
Hard road to HOme » by Halofreak021
Joel Urban is a normal 17 year old wizard who goes to United school in the American but NOw he going be over in England for the Qud tournment i suck at Summary but plz read the story Wrong boy who lived story Pleas Review the story.
Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,659 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 6-20-10 - Published: 6-3-10 - Harry P.
The author couldn't even be bothered to make sure the title was error free. The sheer number of errors in this very short summary should be enough to send any reader running in terror in the other direction. Out of morbid curiosity, I had a look at the 'story'. It's even worse. On top of the spelling and grammar issues, and the occasional netspeak, there are no breaks between paragraphs. My morbid curiosity satisfied, I shall now return to my previous task of trolling for a good story.
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If you strike me down now, I shall become more annoying than you could possibly imagine.
Hard road to HOme » by Halofreak021
Joel Urban is a normal 17 year-old wizard who goes to United school in the American but NOw he going be over in England for the Qud tournment i suck at Summary but plz read the story Wrong boy who lived story Pleas Review the story.
Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,659 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 6-20-10 - Published: 6-3-10 - Harry P.
The author couldn't even be bothered to make sure the title was error free. The sheer number of errors in this very short summary should be enough to send any reader running in terror in the other direction. Out of morbid curiosity, I had a look at the 'story'. It's even worse. On top of the spelling and grammar issues, and the occasional netspeak, there are no breaks between paragraphs.
I feel your pain. This is just FUBAR. There should be some kind of "fanfiction police" so these....things wouldn't just pop out. Then again, I'm a huge hypocrite since I can't write readable stories at all...yet. But yeah, this is hilarious, if a bit disturbing.
(btw R.O.T.F.L.S.H.V.U.A.K.O.M.A.I.L= Rolling On The Floor Laughing So Hard Voldemort Uses Avada Kedavra On Me And I Live)
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"Night falls and I'm running in circles (Whoa-oh-oh)
I'm being chased by my imagination (Whoa-oh-oh)"
Alesana - The Thespian
I would add parenthetical side remarks and pseudo-HTML coding in the synopsis to the list as bad portents, but that might re-raise some hackles 'round here.
Dumbledore agrees with me, though. <|;-)
<|;-)>>>-<>
Indeed. Well played.