MetaFic

A good story.

I recommend this one also, however, I think a lot of people will not be able to deal with the writing style it is very free form and can be frustrating at times. It also, means that you do not have an entirely linear story.

- A good novel is an indivisible sum; every scene, sequence and passage of a good novel has to involve, contribute to and advance all three of its major attributes: theme, plot, characterization.
Ayn Rand - The Romantic Manifesto p. 74 (pb 93)

Which paragraph, NAC?

Thanks for the recommendation, Jonathan. Yeah, it takes a little work. I've been debating about whether I should simplify that, but so far I haven't found a compelling reason to do so. It's not every story, after all - it's just this little one.

You should never change your style to attempt to appeal to more people. The story is good as it is. I would be greatly disappointed if Harry suddenly became coherent and the story went along the lines of other stories. The charm of Pahntom Limb is the style.

-Jonathan

- A good novel is an indivisible sum; every scene, sequence and passage of a good novel has to involve, contribute to and advance all three of its major attributes: theme, plot, characterization.
Ayn Rand - The Romantic Manifesto p. 74 (pb 93)

This was in reply to my original comment

It took me a while to find, because there are just so many splendid paragraphs, but I think this is the one I meant (it works best with the succeeding paragraph which is why it looks like two):

I feel it’s very important now for me to tell my story in order. Some things just don’t come out as well without the proper background. A tone should be set, an internal logic should be established, the characters and motivations should be seen to grow from seed to leaf, so that the reader’s mind has undertaken the journey as well and feels the same revelations or surprises or life-changing shocks as the people in this story of my short waking life thus far. It is truly the best and most effective way to proceed.

But before I do, I want to tell you about something that happened later.

I have to admit to having been distracted on the way by this one, which hits you between the eyes with all the delicacy of a dancing rhinoceros:

When everyone in a room looks at you funny, you may be inclined to look down at your feet or act like someone else did the thing you’re being stared at over or blend in with the furniture, as apparently I have done, maybe just quietly leave the room with a newspaper in front of your face, or maybe to stand with your head held high and glower back at your accusing public, defying them to be judgmental of you when they all have very obvious defects themselves, some of them have goofy clothes on and there are a few very suspect haircuts or what have you, and this is hypothetical because far be it from me to say that any of the folks around me were funny-looking in any way, I mean some of them are really quite attractive and only one of them is the sort who you would add “if you like that sort of thing” to that statement, but it’s not his fault — I seem to have lost my thread here. Anyway, everyone was looking at me expectantly, as if I were preparing to give birth to a rhino with the able assistance of the other parent, whatever that might be, or more properly whatever it would take for me to mate with in order to produce a rhino, including having the appropriate biological equipment to do so, and I was having a little difficulty in nailing down exactly what I was feeling at this moment, so my mind was wandering. A bit.

As I remarked to somebody who totally failed to contradict me, the narration in this sounds like the inside of my head, which is possibly why I like this story so much: I identify with the protagonist on so many levels it's just scary.

I also agree with Jonathan: changing it would likely spoil it, it's very nearly perfick just as it is.

The strange part is that those were the easiest things to write - probably because that's what's going on upstairs chez rbackwards.

As always, thanks for being a great advocate. It really makes me look forward to releasing this story into the wild.

You know, the film Trelawney is pretty great, but best of all I think is the film Luna. I really do think of them when I write. The others not so much. One wonders what other readers and writers are thinking about. This comes to mind because they're running the films on television today, along with snippets of the upcoming heinously-delayed HBP, and I'm reminded of what I liked about them and what fueled me. I still think the most beautiful of them was POA, and it was also the last with a proper score. (I'm biased there.) But I do wonder what fuels other people's reading.

There is a part of me that wants to do something when I'm done with the story, that is, to remove all traces of the derivative works from it and make it its own story. There are more things I could do with his lack of memory if it weren't for the need to keep it in the ballpark, so to speak. After all, its beginning was fairly independent from the books. I'd originally imagined keeping Arthur as he/she was, and him/her being a sort of schizoid and flawed Greek chorus to Deasil's adventures and wanderings, and having him not go back to England right away, and so on. Anyway, that's why I think of changing the voice, because there's a feeling of unsettled-ness that I have about the story. THe good thing is, that makes his voice that much more... whatever it is.

I love it! Thanks NAC, for the recommendation.

rbackwards2, do not change a thing on how you are writing this! Oddly enough I have no problem following the stream of consciousness that defines D - Harry, or is it H - Deasil?. I don't know if I should feel proud or bothered about that. Perhaps both. Or not. Does it really matter? He's the same person regardless.
I MUST work the "'What?' 10 points." into my story somehow, because it is so funny. Brilliant, really. Of course I'll credit you, I'm nowhere near that clever.

Oh great, now NAC will chide me for reading, not writing, but I'm still a bag of caramel popcorn short by my reckoning.

- Chuck

Mmmph mm mmhhmm mph!
unclags throat unconvincingly
Sorry, what I meant to say was…didn't you get that packet I sent you?
looks down guiltily at empty packet
Ah…that would be…erm…here, have this one.
shoves fresh bag of pop-corn into the tube
So, when can we expect the next chapter then?

Thanks for the kind words, Chuck. Now I have another author to read and another way to put off finishing this chapter... You can use "10 points" if I can use "dog found the chainsaw.". The tone of the story will change a little as D changes a little, but not too much. Really just a hint of change - he'll still be mostly the same guy.

Say, rbackwards... do you have any idea how many chapters you'll end up with? I'm getting more and more itchy to read Phantom Limb, but if it's somewhat close to completion I might wait until it's finished.

Blushes with embarrassment. The "dog found the chain saw" quote is from Lilo and Stitch. Once again, I'm not that clever. I don't know when in the story, but I plan to have Ginny cause Harry to say "What?" and then smirk and say "10 points!"

. . . "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead" (play or movie), then you ought to be.

But playing the game of Questions and coming up to a "what?" might be one way to get that "10 Points!" response. Of course, you couldn't be playing on the tennis scoring system. I'll throw on the disclaimer here that I have no idea of the context for the use in question, so this is a deep-left-field type of comment.

I would say it's got at least six more chapters to go. I know from reading you that you don't like to start unfinished stories - and I can't blame you at all, having just been bitten by that because someone necro'd a post on DLP and I didn't realize the story fizzled in 2006... all I can say is that I have an arc and an ending planned, and the only thing that makes it indeterminate is that I keep creating scenes and dialog that I want to have in the story. My main character has some transformations to go through (or not) and given the pace of the beginning I don't want to rush them.

So, sorry about the lame answer. Really enjoying MoO...

I decided to give this story a try.

This story recommendation is very much appreciated. It was definitely -- definitely -- worth reading. I had been avoiding it due to the summary setting off all kinds of bells and whistles in my "Danger, Bad Things Lurk Here" detectors. I am very pleased to write that the exact opposite happened.

Of course, just to make things interesting, since Jonathan said the story wasn't told linearly, I didn't try to read it in linear order . . . if you could say that reading it in any given direction is actually linear. I guess I'm stuck now, in that I more or less have to read the chapters in order, though I could read each chapter's content randomly.

The style is what makes this story so much fun. Please don't change a thing.

Thanks for reading, moshpit. I'm very glad you like it. I've been enjoying your stuff for some time now - especially Echoes of Power Pt.1...

That synopsis is the bane of my existence. It's the biggest hurdle (besides the tone, the humor and the writing style, I guess) to getting into the story. I've been considering at least revising it. In my defense, I wrote the summary before any of the more, shall we say, exotic departures from canon were really on my radar, and it might have come across differently without "Aunt Arthur".

I hope that the chapters work on their own on at least some level. Plot is great, but this domain is so ripe with opportunities for imagery, situations and characterization (not to mention the obligatory character commentary and rants) that I really want to put those things first - and telling a story out of order is a great way to diminish the distractions of an inevitable chain of events. (It worked in Pulp Fiction, anyway.)

The style is not changing in the slightest, though the narrator may change his mood a bit here shortly.

I was pleasantly surprised to find this topic here. I stumbled onto the site because of the brilliance of MoO...but PL has been a pet passion.

I almost didn't get into it myself...the summary, the jumble of guiding information...fortunately it was well enough developed that after a few chapters I was grokking what was being offered and didn't really care about the form after that.

In the subject line, I use the word "genius" which I don't do lightly. Clearly there are some outrageously well-done and enjoyable stories: MoO and EoP, as have been mentioned...as well as Nightmares of Futures Past, Fate's Debt and Taking Control, among various other extraordinary tales. But rbackwards takes me into places that no one else does. There is such wit and utter sensuality in his language...just reading a chapter is quite a sensory experience. Plus, his Ginny is one of the great women in literature! Her and Harry/Diesel's reaction to her. Her vivacious beauty and the subtle eroticism surrounding her are very palpable.

Several months ago I became quite frustrated by what I perceived as the lack of appreciation for PL...ie, in the paucity of reviews...and became a mini-evangelist by posting a rave review on a couple of the H/G elists...something I'd never done before or since. So...it's particularly gratifying to see the recognition among others authors who I respect so much.

Anyway, thank you to all who gift us with your creative explorations of this fascinating fictional universe.

Gene

PS: another under-the-radar fan fiction that I really like a lot is "The Terrifying Momentum" at
http://www.simplyundeniable.com/viewstory.php?sid=3690

It is H/G, not that AU, but with a wonderfully funny, potty-mouth OMC.

Thanks, Aragorn, for listing my story next to those amazing works - it should be said that reading those stories was what got me into this world and what made me want to write my own. (We like a lot of the same stuff. Have you read much of jbern's work?)

I'm very glad it works for you, because it's kind of a fringy and personal effort on my part to pay homage to these characters, the original author and the many derivative works based thereon, such that I am surprised it's getting read at all. There's not much action so far, only some romance, a convoluted AU plot and a very unreliable narrator. I told myself these were all problems at the beginning but I was going to sweat it out regardless and anyway plots can be fascist, and I very much appreciate your reading along in spite of all that. And I'm very glad you like this Ginny. Many people hate that pairing, and with good reason sometimes, but what the hell. I think she just needs some prodding to be interesting, and I think it works out better if she didn't grow up having a crush on him and if his mother is still alive.

Thanks for speaking out on this story's behalf. People reading this definitely keeps me motivated, even when it's going slowly.

Now I must forget your very kind and humbling words so that I can finish proofing this next chapter without trying to live up to them!

Cheers.

PS: another under-the-radar fan fiction that I really like a lot is "The Terrifying Momentum" at
http://www.simplyundeniable.com/viewstory.php?sid=3690

It is H/G, not that AU, but with a wonderfully funny, potty-mouth OMC

I've been reading The Terrifying Momentum too. In a response to a review I sent, the author said that writing Ginny was very difficult. Currently Ginny has very little to do in the story. It will be interesting to see how this pans out. The original pairing in the description of the story was Ron/Hermione, characters he writes very well. It suddenly changed a few chapters back. the main characters are really OC, so even if he brings in Ginny, it won't affect the story too much.